Roman Holiday

So, “The Parents” are in Rome.  I say “The Parents” because that is how our kids refer to us…many times while they are talking to us, and it makes me laugh.  They’ll say things like “AC and I wanted to sleep in the playroom, and she said we had to ask “The Parents.”  So, can we?”

I sort of feel like I could be in a Bourne movie with that title.

But I digress, as usual.  “The Parents” as in my parents are in Rome as we speak.  It’s been a big to-do.  They’ve been planning this trip since the dawn of time, and after dedicating their fiscal lives to charging everything to American Express for the last 20 years they now have enough miles to travel to Jupiter and back a couple of seventy times.

So they flew first class.  And by first class I mean they were able to fly in what looked to be their own private suite complete with walls, a bed, and a television.  And frankly, that’s really all my mom was excited about. 

We received an e-mail from them today letting us know they arrived safely.  Which they did, but they arrived much later than was planned and had all sorts of airline related trouble “thanks to the Volcano and Iceland” and its pesky ash cloud. 

And if you know my dad, all the changing of plans and veering off course probably necessitated a trip to the hotel’s psychologist, but I’m sure he was able to rally quickly.

Until my mother kindly (i.e. hysterically)pointed out that he had forgotten his hat. He has had some light treatments to get rid of skin cancers and he’s not supposed to let his head see the light of day. My mother has appointed herself the warden of his skin care regime.

And apparently she was so distraught over the impending doom of my dad’s dermis that she inadvertently left her raincoat in Zurich. That’s really all I know about that. But- I’d be willing to bet you my first born that she spent a few hours of frustrated shopping in the streets of Rome trying to find a rainjacket that’s not too long in the arms…or the length for that matter. I can only assume it’s probably like trying to find khaki pants for Coach in Mexico.

And I’d also bet that no amount of reasoning from my dad was going to convince her to just buy the d*@# thing even if the sleeves were too long, because, HELLO, they were way off schedule.

Which is probably about the time she decided her nerves were shot and she was cold and tired from all the first-class travel and rain and she just needed a cup of coffee. Turns out, she didn’t get said cup of coffee, because she said she couldn’t find a cup of normal American coffee anywhere.

Not good. You just have to know her.

It does seem that they did finally do some sight-seeing yesterday though.  My mom went on to describe in her e-mail some things they saw in the Vatican.

In that paragraph she did refer to Michelangelo’s famous sculpture, the Pieta, as a statue of Mary holding Jesus. Which I can only liken to calling the Grand Canyon a hole in the ground, which come to think of it, could be a direct quote from Mom.

I think the significance of the history and creation of that sculpture was lost on her, but she saw Jesus, so she’s good.

And then she went on to tell us about how she thought she packed two bottles of shampoo and one bottle of cream rinse, but really it was three bottles of shampoo, so her hair is all frizzy.

And then she promised she’d throw a coin in the Trevi Fountain for me tonight in hopes that I might one day go to Rome.

And I can assure you this- if I ever make it there- I’ll know the difference between a statue and sculpture, and I’ll remember my cream rinse, and my raincoat…

God love “The Parents”- they lived vicariously through my brother and me for 20+ years, so it looks like now we get to see Rome through their eyes, scorched head, frizzy hair, and all.

See y’all!

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2 Comments on Roman Holiday

  1. brown eyed girl
    May 11, 2010 at 12:24 pm (8 years ago)

    Your parents are so cute! I hope they have a fabulous vacation!

  2. Brittany Ann
    May 11, 2010 at 1:18 pm (8 years ago)

    Oh man! Too funny! They could be my parents, it seems! I can’t wait to hear more updates!


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