Nary a Flake, But It’s FREEEEEEZING

100% chance of snow with accumulations of 1-3 inches- that’s what they said. They said there was no way it would miss. NO WAY.

Preparations were made, I WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE TO BUY MILK (but I must add it was because we were literally out of milk and waffles NOT because I was on high snow alert), we drug out snow boots and mittens, we wore pj’s wrong side out, put ice cubes in the toilet, white crayons in the freezer.

You name it; we did it.

And…

Nary a flake. Not 1. Obviously our meteorologists went to the Momsense School of Math and Percentages.

But, it’s freezing. We’ve had temperatures above freezing for a whopping 4 hours THE ENTIRE MONTH OF JANUARY. Tonight it will be 6 with wind chills in the negatives.

And the temperatures are killing these guys:

The Tampa Zoo had to give the orangutans blankets and hot chocolate yesterday to keep them warm. I’m totally serious. There was news footage of one particular orangutan wrapped up in a blanket sitting in a bale of straw drinking hot chocolate from a mug, and I swear to you, there were marshmallows in the mug.

And not to be outdone, the temperatures have dropped so low in parts of Florida that these guys are literally freezing and falling out of the trees. Take a moment and imagine. Can’t you just see it? A giant iguana storm in Florida. Oh- this is the stuff of great blog entries- if you live in Florida and get rained on by frozen iguanas.

If, however, you live in Tennessee and there are no frozen iguanas or chilled orangutans, just disgruntled high school students who want to lynch a few chosen meteorologists, you must resort to griping about the freezing temperatures, lack of precipitation, and general shortage of Eggo waffles (which requires a post entirely to itself- but just suffice it to say that we also have Mother Nature to blame for the great waffle shortage of 2010.

I cannot imagine anything more disconcerting.

See y’all!

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