My, What Pretty Teeth You Have

I’ve had one of those weeks.  You know- those weeks you don’t really want to talk about because it’s really not any one big thing, rather an onslaught of minor annoyances that I am going to blame on the Twilight Saga.

Oh yes, you did read that correctly.

I have successfully avoided all things Twilight– no vampires, no wolves, no Team Jacob or Team Edward- none of it.

Until this weekend.

And incidentally, it’s Team Jacob all the way.  I can’t help it.  He has such pretty teeth…and abs.  I’m a sucker for teeth and abs.

Coach went to the lake for a coaching retreat.  I took the opportunity to head to Knoxville to visit a friend.  We did girly things like shop and see movies and talk and eat cheese.  It was heaven.
It was on Saturday night that she convinced me that my life would not be complete until I had seen the Twilight movies.  And, it just so happened that she owned the first two.  So, we stayed up until 3:00 am watching parts one and two.

I was hooked.  And then I got up four hours later and drove the 180 miles home.  And then I ran 6 miles.  And then we went to a funeral.

Exhaustion I tell you.  And Coach was exhausted too, and he had to get up at 5:00 for football workouts.

I know, it is a charmed life isn’t it?

So we crashed. 

At approximately 3:14 Monday morning the Momsense/Coach honeymoon ended.  I was sleeping soundly until I heard a funny noise.

So I turned on the light just in time to see a mouse take a swan dive into my purse.  Yes, I did say a MOUSE diving into my purse.

I might have screamed at that point.

Coach’s head might have exploded, or maybe he just sat up clearly disoriented with bloodshot eyes.

I’m going to admit- I was hysterical.  I was standing on the bed with a hammer begging Coach to get the mouse out of my purse and away from my Reese’s Pieces.

He said, “Just go to sleep, it’s just a mouse.”

To which I replied, “Are you kidding me?  There is a varmint in my purse!  I have Reese’s Pieces in there!  We have to get him out of there and away from the Pieces!”

Him:  “Did you really use the word varmint?”

Me:  “Did you really tell me to just go back to sleep?”

I’ll save you the rest of the conversation.  Just imagine a very irritated and sleepy husband and a hysterical wife.  Then imagine that the husband just rolled back over and went to sleep, the wife slept with the light on and a hammer in her hands, and a whole lot of huffing, puffing, muttering and grumbling.

That was Sunday.

Tuesday I went running again and promptly chafed my thighs whilst wearing some different running shorts.  It’s a third degree chafe.

Today I bought some compression shorts to retard the friction and flame throwing from betwixt my thighs, and went running again.

And so I ran. 

Until I twisted my ankle on absolutely nothing, fell down, took the skin off my calf and hip, tore my new compression shorts, and took care of any shred of pride I had left.

So, that’s where I’ve been.  Sleep deprived, chafed, swollen, and oozing.

Oh, and a mouse just cuddled up with Coach on the couch.

I’m not kidding.

I must go.  There’s quite a bit of packing to do as I will be moving out as soon as possible.

See y’all!

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3 Comments on My, What Pretty Teeth You Have

  1. Brittany Ann
    July 22, 2010 at 12:26 pm (8 years ago)

    I’ve had similar mouse and chafing experiences, and I have to say, a) you did not overreact, and b) my prayers are with you.

    Reply
  2. Leslie Ruth Petree
    July 26, 2010 at 11:36 am (7 years ago)

    Team Jacob- Oh, yes ma’am!

    Chafing- I highly recommend Bodyglide. It looks like a deodorant stick and you can get it at Academy Sports {for sure} and possibly Dick’s.

    The mouse story- laughed until I nearly peed my pants. Simply glorious. But that may be because I’m two hours away and in no danger of being nibbled on 🙂

    Reply
  3. HoodMama
    July 29, 2010 at 5:27 am (7 years ago)

    You KILL me! That mouse story is the best! And the chafing, even better. I’m sorry that I’m wishing you had video of your fall. I know it’s wrong.

    Reply

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