Because I Could Not Stop For Death, It Kindly Stopped For Me

And you’re welcome English majors and lovers of poetry everywhere.  Truth be told, life has taken on a speed that not even death could catch.

And because I have more to do than is humanly possible to get done, I have chosen to do several superfluous tasks tonight which may or may not have included showing AC how to start her own blog, watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory, making a rather complicated dinner, taking a long bath, throwing ball with the dog, researching possible cures for my itchy skin, and tinkering with a moody remote.  Oh, and writing a blog post about nothing.

So…today.  What can I say about today?  How about this:  G informed me and AC on the way home that they are learning about the reproductive system in science.  Now, what I thought he meant was he was learning terms like “stamen” and “ovary” and “ureter” – you know all the things you never remember about reproduction.

Yeah.  Not so much.  He launched into a conversation about periods and uteruses (is that even how you spell the plural of uterus?  How many times does one have the need to speak of a uterus in plural form?  Clearly, not many.)

And then he said:  “I’m really excited…” (WHAT?????  EXCITED????? WHAT?????)  Oh please not excited, I’m not ready for excited. 

Then he finished the sentence:  “I’m really excited because the test will be really easy.  You already told me all of this, so I knew it all.  You wouldn’t believe how many people in my class didn’t know anything.”

Me:  “Anything?”

Him:  “Nothing.  Pete and Sam told Drew that a vascectomy is an operation that turns a man into a woman, and he believed him.  It was awesome.”

Me: “Yeah, well you won’t think it’s so awesome when the scalpel comes calling for you buddy” 

Him:  “So, I knew almost everything.”

Me: “What do you mean you knew almost everything?”

Him:  “Well, you never told me about an org@$%”

Me:  “Whoa there buddy!  Hold up, your sister is in the car.  We need to talk about this later.”

Her:  “Don’t worry Mom, we learned about organisms in science last year.  No big deal.”  (I’ve never been more thankful that she doesn’t hear well.)

And it was precisely then that death did stop for me.  Then it heard the conversation we were having and took off like a shot with its hair on fire.

See y’all!

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8 Comments on Because I Could Not Stop For Death, It Kindly Stopped For Me

  1. Brittany Ann
    April 12, 2010 at 9:58 pm (8 years ago)

    Oh man…I started sweating when he said orgasm! Gah! Not looking forward to that stage of parenthood!

  2. brown eyed girl
    April 13, 2010 at 8:19 am (8 years ago)

    I love it! Everyone needs a good ‘welcome to puberty’ story and you just got yourself one!

  3. Sam
    April 13, 2010 at 4:07 pm (8 years ago)

    Oh that is too funny. I would have wrecked the car!!!
    Love the blog by the way!

  4. Erin
    April 14, 2010 at 8:38 am (8 years ago)

    I am a new reader. This post cracked me up! I will keep reading.

  5. HoodMama
    April 14, 2010 at 9:12 am (8 years ago)

    I LOVE YOUR NEW LOOK!!! It’s great!!! Where have I been? Reading on my phone just doesn’t do your new blog justice!!
    This cracked me up! We had a similar conversation in our car the other day. Next time I’m calling you.

  6. Jess
    April 23, 2010 at 3:14 pm (8 years ago)

    Sorry Traci (found you on Brittany’s B)…I’m a high school science teacher and we discuss sexual repro in detail too, but I did leave out orgasms though….ya’ll must be on a different benchmark system than FLA!

    Happy Weekend!

  7. Kimberly
    April 27, 2010 at 10:02 am (8 years ago)

    Too funny! One of my good friends had a scare when her 10 year old son asked her what sex was. After launching into the whole story, he said,”That’s fine but when we got this form at school, we were supposed to write down our sex and I wasn’t sure what that meant!”


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